Because It's Impossible, And You're My Impossible Girl
by articcat621
Summary: She knew she loved him, it's why she died for him. And she would gladly die a thousand more times, just for him. The Season 7 Finale in Clara's viewpoint.


A/N: I don't own Doctor Who.

* * *

My breath caught in my throat. I was afraid to open my eyes, afraid of what I would see. Slowly, I pried them open.

"Doctor?" I called out.

Darkness.

"Doctor?" I called out again, more loudly this time, desperately wishing he'd answer.

I was surrounded by darkness.

Of course that makes sense, seeing I'm inside the Doctor now. At least that's how he made it sound. All I can remember is that man, jumping into the Doctor's timeline.

He fell on the floor almost immediately. It was horrific to watch. He was dying, right in front of my eyes… and I just couldn't let that happen.

So without really even thinking about it, I jumped into the Doctor's timeline as well, knowing it would eventually tear me apart.

I had saved the Doctor before. Multiple times actually. And this was proof. It hurt a bit, feeling myself ripped into a million copies, traveling throughout time to save the Doctor.

I knew I had to reverse the damage before it was too late.

Looking around at the darkness, I can only hope I was successful.

I knew my other copies weren't as lucky. They had died, almost always. But every time they had saved the Doctor, and I would gladly die a thousand more times for him.

But I assumed as I was the real copy… the original. I wasn't sure though, because time traveling was funny business.

Looking around, a frown appeared on my lips. Was I supposed to just stay here while I waited for myself to die? That seemed rather silly to me.

But I sat down on the ground, ignoring the tears that began to streak down my face.

Why had I done this? Why had I thrown my life away for him?

The answer was simple.

I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt some time.

I'm not quite sure when I actually fell in love with him, but I remember it happened suddenly.

This man had come into my life, and shown me things I couldn't dare dream of. He opened my eyes to the world and beauty around me, giving me a chance to live something besides an ordinary life.

And I wanted to spend the rest of my life traveling the universe with him. I wanted to explore more time periods, more planets, and stars… but I suppose that wasn't going to happen now.

Vaguely, I wondered what would happen to Angie and Artie. I hope they would be okay… maybe they would find a new nanny to watch over them. I wish I had been able to say goodbye to them… one last time. Of course, I didn't know I was going to commit suicide in an act of love.

But then another thought popped into my head. The Doctor didn't love me… he obviously loved that Riversong woman. Weren't they married?

I ignored the pain that started to form in my chest.

It didn't matter who he loved. All I know is that I loved him, and that I saved him.

What were my last words? Oh that's right: "Run you clever boy, and remember me." I could only hope that he would remember me.

A shadow moving in the corner caught my attention. My gaze snapped upwards, looking around. My eyes widened in realization. I wasn't alone in the darkness!

The Doctor's past lives were with me too. Seeing their bodies helped me remember all the good I had done in the Doctor's lifetime. That happy thought helped douse the fire of pain burning inside me.

"Clara?" a voice called out.

I looked upwards. I knew that voice… I loved that voice.

But it's not real, I had to remind myself.

"Clara, where are you?" he cried out.

I didn't answer. It's not real, I tell myself.

"Clara, you can hear me… I know you can," his voice is sweet and gentle, like always.

"I can't see you," I whispered, looking around.

"I'm everywhere," he replied. "You're inside my time stream. Everything around you is me."

Oh, well that would make sense. I knew his past reincarnations were here.

"I can see you," I said shakily, pulling myself to my feet. "You're all here."

"Those are my ghosts," the Doctors replies. His voice echoes around the darkness and I desperately wished I could see him. "Those are my past, every good day and every bad day."

A yell captures my attention. Suddenly, a flash of lightning strikes and causes me to fall to the floor. "What's happening?" I cried out, fearing that I hadn't managed to save him.

"I'm inside my own time stream, it's starting to collapse on itself," he explains as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Was he daft? "You need to get out!" I cried. He couldn't die, not after I fought so hard to save him.

"Not until I've got you."

My heart stops. He's risking his life to save me, just like I risked mine for him.

But it doesn't make sense. Who am I? I know my name is Clara and I've saved the Doctor more times than I could possibly count, but it just doesn't add up. "I don't even know who I am," I whispered into the darkness.

"You're my impossible girl," he replies. "I'm sending something to you, from your own past. This right here is you Clara, it's everything you were and everything you will be."

Looking up, I see an orange leaf floating towards me. My eyes widened. My leaf? That was the answer?

"Take it," he commanded.

Tentatively, I reached up and grabbed the leaf.

"You blew into the world, Clara, on this very leaf. Hold tight, it will take you home."

I held onto the leaf, but nothing happened. I remained in the darkness. I started to stumble forward, not really sure of what would happen.

"Clara!" the voice cried out, but it sounded closer this time. "Clara, come on! Clara!"

Slowly, I turned around.

"You can do it, I know you can."

There he was. Standing there, beckoning me towards him.

The man that I loved, the man that I had died for was so close.

"You can do it," he repeated.

If I didn't know better, I'd say it looked like he had been crying.

"How?" I asked, feeling afraid.

"Because it's impossible, and you're my impossible girl," he said, holding his hands out. "How many times have you save me, Clara?"

Slowly, I began to move towards him.

"Just this once, just for the hell of it, let me save you," he begged. "For once, let me save you. You have to trust me, Clara. I'm real, just one more step."

He was so close I could almost touch him.

I stumbled forward into his open arms. Immediately I wrapped them around his neck, hugging him tightly. The tears were pouring down my face now…

But he was real. He was in my arms, solid and real.

"Oh Clara, my Clara," he cried out, placing wet kisses all over the side of my face.

I clung to him, as if my world would end if I let go.

I kissed his neck, hugging him tightly.

But suddenly, his grip on me loosened. Looking up, I saw his eyes wide.

Something was wrong.

I turned around, still remaining in his arms. There was a figure, not too far away from us, his back turned.

But who was it? I wracked my memories, remembering every Doctor, and he wasn't one of them! I began to worry.

"Who's that?" I asked, glancing towards the Doctor.

"Never mind, let's go back," he whispered.

I couldn't tear my gaze away. "But who is he?"

"He's me… there's only me here, that's the point. So let's get back," he said a bit hurriedly.

"But I never saw that one," I protested. "I saw all of you. Eleven faces, all of them you. You're the eleventh Doctor."

"I said he was me. I never said he was the Doctor."

My eyes widened. "But I don't understand."

He smacked his forehead. "My name, my name, my name. My real name, that is not the point of the name I chose, the Doctor. The name you choose, it's like a promise you make. He's the one that broke the promise."

I turned to try and get a better look at him.

At once I felt faint. I struggled to keep my eyes open, but I felt myself falling.

"Clara, Clara!" he cried.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my, hoisting me up.

I knew I was safe with him.

"Clara!" he cried again, tightening his grip on me.

Slowly, I closed my eyes. I was safe now. I could rest.

The last thing I saw before my eyes shut was the Doctor's worried face looking down at me.


End file.
